I had an extensive article lined up an article that yet again will now never see publication an event now so very common, as to be customary to me now, I can only wish our regular readers well and thank them for staying with us, even with a dearth of new material here on AAWR, so thank you. To all a merry Christmas, a happy time with friends family and acquaintances and if lucky the one you love, I seen a tremendous sight this evening, this evening as I travelled from work, sleep deprivation troubling me and exhaustion dogging me relentlessly.
So very many hours I have worked now, to provide for this Christmas and yet it is not as yet over for me, I still have much to do before I can rest and make merry, low my mood as I left work, snow cascading seemingly relentlessly from an invisible sky. All too soon I must arise to toil for the taxman and the greedy once again, labouring for the expenses of politicians and to house an endless mass, “it will take some time to get straight again”, I thought, as I travelled home, my debt-burden manageable within my lifetime unlike
that of my country and still we permit this ,this reprehensible state of affairs.
Yet although I shall eventually go into the black (can one now say that?) it will be along time coming, with much overtime and I know that like others of my kind through the centuries, I work to feed the rich and to turn the wheels of a monstrous machine. Bitterness is not far from the exploited, venom suppressed and rage locked within a cage of pulsating stress, so many of us through so very many centuries used up and our husks buried, only for another to be born to service their needs. Unhappy with my lot and that of my fellows and lamenting for my countries plight and despairing at the self-harming actions of impotent supposed nationalism.
It is enough to turn one away to force one to look as others to self and that then is all it takes to break a nation, most things that lift my mood cost nothing, not one pound, not one red cent, true happiness or should that be true contentment is found away from the consumerist cathedrals aglow in many towns and cities and are simply waiting to be realised or grasped. Perhaps my outstanding moment this year is so very simple but it was simply teaching my daughter how to do crosswords, to sit with her unconcerned by anything except how much I love her and to grasp the moment.
In many respects it is my children that create for me my best moments, my children that give meaning to life and make of it a lesser burden but it is not always them, this year I had cause to speak to two old soldiers men who had answered their countries call, now advanced in years I became lucky, lucky to hear the very voices of the lost generation. It is no surprise to me that they regret it, that it was not worth it, I have heard this same sentiment expressed so very many times but it was not all doom and gloom and I was able for just a tiny moment to grasp some time, to travel back with those men as they talked of that different time.
Those moments, those gifts are not always so personal, sometimes they happen ,they occur, they are given unknowingly by strangers, just a simple thing, yet enough to lift the spirit, enough to create a moment, enough to lift a tired man. Amongst the whirling snow, the blaze of headlights and the cautious plod of other drivers, at the side of the road they were, three children, well-wrapped gifts of radiating happiness to those who would take but a moment, of indeterminate age, except the little one, the tiny one, perhaps three, dragged along upon a tiny sledge. Oh take your wise-men your gifts and your dammed experiment, your pseudo-nationalism and grandiose flag-waving, begone your infighting and your battle against each other, run from my mind negativity and doubt, I fight for no party, for no great leader but for those playing in the snow.
For that little one who must one day like me, grow up and pay the price of adulthood, forego simple pleasure for bought substitute, exchange play for toil and pocket money for taxation, who must, because they make us, choose a side, who must by dint of circumstance seek solid ground upon fragile money. I watched them and for a moment I remembered my older sisters push, remembered the laugh of a gleeful child before life intruded, remembered pure bliss at falling snow upon a clear night, captured for a moment a time lost, funny to envy a sledge ride, to notice it amongst the glare of angry headlights and powerful motors, to follow their fun with my eyes and take from it sustenance and pleasure, to revel in the joy of others.
That’s it you know, isn’t it, that is the reason, the children, the little ones, the now laughing, the expectant, afire with Christmas’s dream, excitement fit to burst and the gathering of provision and families time. We must never succumb to what they want us to be, never let them win our hearts and our minds, our children and theirs must have them if anything, you know they simply cannot take from us some things, cannot wholly rob us, although they try. All over this nation we come together, to bask in our feeling for others, shops exploit us and the banker calls the tune but those we love have our hearts, this country has our soul, this continent our loyalty.
So yes things are bleak, tyranny of mind and curtailment of freedom a feature, dysopia lives, thrives and most do not know it or most do not want to know, the real nationalists are not me, not we who endeavour to reach out to the faceless, to implore those we can never see, never know, never spent time with, it is you, the people and you deserve better than this, we all deserve better than this. Have a good Christmas in whichever way you can, take a moment and be happy, I wish you well, I must be off, ready to rise early to pay for Santa’s treats, to support the newcomer, the politician and fund an agenda unwanted, take care.
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So very many hours I have worked now, to provide for this Christmas and yet it is not as yet over for me, I still have much to do before I can rest and make merry, low my mood as I left work, snow cascading seemingly relentlessly from an invisible sky. All too soon I must arise to toil for the taxman and the greedy once again, labouring for the expenses of politicians and to house an endless mass, “it will take some time to get straight again”, I thought, as I travelled home, my debt-burden manageable within my lifetime unlike
that of my country and still we permit this ,this reprehensible state of affairs.
Yet although I shall eventually go into the black (can one now say that?) it will be along time coming, with much overtime and I know that like others of my kind through the centuries, I work to feed the rich and to turn the wheels of a monstrous machine. Bitterness is not far from the exploited, venom suppressed and rage locked within a cage of pulsating stress, so many of us through so very many centuries used up and our husks buried, only for another to be born to service their needs. Unhappy with my lot and that of my fellows and lamenting for my countries plight and despairing at the self-harming actions of impotent supposed nationalism.
It is enough to turn one away to force one to look as others to self and that then is all it takes to break a nation, most things that lift my mood cost nothing, not one pound, not one red cent, true happiness or should that be true contentment is found away from the consumerist cathedrals aglow in many towns and cities and are simply waiting to be realised or grasped. Perhaps my outstanding moment this year is so very simple but it was simply teaching my daughter how to do crosswords, to sit with her unconcerned by anything except how much I love her and to grasp the moment.
In many respects it is my children that create for me my best moments, my children that give meaning to life and make of it a lesser burden but it is not always them, this year I had cause to speak to two old soldiers men who had answered their countries call, now advanced in years I became lucky, lucky to hear the very voices of the lost generation. It is no surprise to me that they regret it, that it was not worth it, I have heard this same sentiment expressed so very many times but it was not all doom and gloom and I was able for just a tiny moment to grasp some time, to travel back with those men as they talked of that different time.
Those moments, those gifts are not always so personal, sometimes they happen ,they occur, they are given unknowingly by strangers, just a simple thing, yet enough to lift the spirit, enough to create a moment, enough to lift a tired man. Amongst the whirling snow, the blaze of headlights and the cautious plod of other drivers, at the side of the road they were, three children, well-wrapped gifts of radiating happiness to those who would take but a moment, of indeterminate age, except the little one, the tiny one, perhaps three, dragged along upon a tiny sledge. Oh take your wise-men your gifts and your dammed experiment, your pseudo-nationalism and grandiose flag-waving, begone your infighting and your battle against each other, run from my mind negativity and doubt, I fight for no party, for no great leader but for those playing in the snow.
For that little one who must one day like me, grow up and pay the price of adulthood, forego simple pleasure for bought substitute, exchange play for toil and pocket money for taxation, who must, because they make us, choose a side, who must by dint of circumstance seek solid ground upon fragile money. I watched them and for a moment I remembered my older sisters push, remembered the laugh of a gleeful child before life intruded, remembered pure bliss at falling snow upon a clear night, captured for a moment a time lost, funny to envy a sledge ride, to notice it amongst the glare of angry headlights and powerful motors, to follow their fun with my eyes and take from it sustenance and pleasure, to revel in the joy of others.
That’s it you know, isn’t it, that is the reason, the children, the little ones, the now laughing, the expectant, afire with Christmas’s dream, excitement fit to burst and the gathering of provision and families time. We must never succumb to what they want us to be, never let them win our hearts and our minds, our children and theirs must have them if anything, you know they simply cannot take from us some things, cannot wholly rob us, although they try. All over this nation we come together, to bask in our feeling for others, shops exploit us and the banker calls the tune but those we love have our hearts, this country has our soul, this continent our loyalty.
So yes things are bleak, tyranny of mind and curtailment of freedom a feature, dysopia lives, thrives and most do not know it or most do not want to know, the real nationalists are not me, not we who endeavour to reach out to the faceless, to implore those we can never see, never know, never spent time with, it is you, the people and you deserve better than this, we all deserve better than this. Have a good Christmas in whichever way you can, take a moment and be happy, I wish you well, I must be off, ready to rise early to pay for Santa’s treats, to support the newcomer, the politician and fund an agenda unwanted, take care.
Submit A Story
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